Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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