I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
