It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
