the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
