"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
