he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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