I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
