So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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