How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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