I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
