So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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