I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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