Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
