operation harelip BJ is a go
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
