i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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