They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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