I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
