Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
