I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
