their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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