Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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