I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize
