they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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