I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
