and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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