My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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