I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
