they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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