Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
