It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
