They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
