Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
