This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
