If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
