Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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