I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
