Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
