dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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