I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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