It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
