His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
