weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
