you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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