Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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