I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
