sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You need a sexual gate keeper
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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