I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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