I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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