Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
