You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
