I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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