So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize