She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I take back everything I said about communal showers
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize