I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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