got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
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