i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
