You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
