You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
