He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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