u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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