He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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