Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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